There was this man. He came off his holidays from India. He brought this
crocodile with him, you see. And he's going round the corner, taking it for
a walk, and this policeman stops him.
He says: "Hey! What are you doing with the crocodile? You should take that to
the zoo."
He says: "AIl right. I'II take it."
Next day, he sees him walking round the corner with that crocodile again.
So the policeman says: "I thought I told you to take that to the zoo."
He says: "I have. Now I'm taking it to the pictures."
Trains
An American tourist
was travelling by train in England. An Englishman was sitting
opposite him, and they were talking about England and the
United States.
The American said: "In Texas, you
can get on a train, travel for twenty-four hours, and still be in Texas."
The Englishman then added: "We have trains like that in England too."
Practising Grammar
An Argentine teacher
was practising English grammar with her class. She had this
conversation with one of the children.
Teacher: Mary, give me a sentence
beginning with "I".
Mary: Er ... "I is—"
Teacher: No, no, no.
Mary: What's the matter, Miss?
Teacher: You said: "I is." You should have said: "I am."
Mary: Sorry, Miss.
Teacher: Start again.
Mary: "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Y aquí tienes un chiste más extenso, con mayor
desarrollo estructural que incluye un carta:
A Guest with a Dog
Hotel managers sometimes have
problems with their guests. Not all guests are pleasant
people, and some have bad habits: they fall asleep with
cigarettes in their hands and burn their beds; they steal
towels from their rooms; they pay their bills with bad
cheques.
There was a hotel manager in England who
had all those problems with his guests. One day he received a
letter. It was from a woman who wanted to book a room at the hotel.
She wrote: "I would like to bring my dog with me. Do you accept dogs
at your hotel?"
This was the manager's answer:
Dear Mrs Bolton,
I have been a hotel
manager for thirty years, and I have never had any
problems with dogs.
–
Dogs have never
fallen asleep with cigarettes in their hands and
burnt their beds.
–
Dogs have never
stolen towels from their rooms.
–
Dogs have never
paid their bills with bad cheques.
Your dog will be welcome.
Yours sincerely,
O. M. Burlington
General Manager
P.S.
If your dog promises that
you will not cause any problems, you will be welcome
too.
En esta actividad tienes el último chiste de
esta unidad. Como en todos los escritos, el manejo cuidadoso de conectores y
preposiciones es de vital importancia. Completa entonces este chiste con las
palabras adecuadas.
THE
GORILLA AND THE BARMAN
A gorilla
walked
a pub, put a £20 note
the bar, and asked
a glass
beer.
The barman gave the gorilla
the beer, and took the £20 note. He thought: "The gorilla is probably
stupid. I won't give him any change."
he didn't give the gorilla any change.
He wanted to appear
friendly, ,
so he started talking to the gorilla. He said: "Gorillas don't come in
here very often."
"That doesn't surprise me,"
said the gorilla. "The beer's too expensive."
