She strode across the paintable landscape, an
old straw hat on her head, sniffing out the best angles and
compositions, while Frieda and I followed like native porters in
a movie, carrying canvases and easels and boxes of paints. It
was a curious way of spending vacations, since there was nothing
I could do but paint as well, although for me to paint what I
saw was never satisfying. I could not bring myself to aim for a
mere faithful reproduction, nor did any work without comment,
without an edge, interest me for long. Once I remember the
astonishment of both my mother and Frieda when, at the end of a
smouldering day in the hills behind the village, I showed them
my painting, the subject of which was a post-Christmas sale at a
large department store in London.
This event became the pretext for a family joke, which was
brought out on every and any occasion, and I hope I laughed with
as good a grace every time I heard it. The fact was that I did
not consider it much of a pastime for a boy away from school to
be sitting before a landscape nature had put together with great
competence, and to seek to reproduce it on a small piece of
paper. In case it be thought that a note of self-pity has crept
into this account of my apparent boredom, I must say that the
intention was never to complain about my fate, but merely to
explain the form of my protest. A Christmas sale in a department
store should have been enough to convince anybody that I had no
ambitions to be a landscape painter, but, no, it was taken, told
and retold as evidence of youthful spirits in someone who would
no doubt settle later on, and I, social animal that I was,
laughed with the others and gave credence to the myth. |