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The Excessive Bill

1m 47s - American English

Once a man received an exhorbitant bill for legal services. He considered the amount excessive, so he went right to the lawyer's office. As I understand it, the conversation went like this...

CLIENT:

Is this really my bill?

LAWYER:

Isn't this your name on the bill?

CLIENT:

Yes.

LAWYER:

Who handled it?

CLIENT:

One of your secretaries. The tall one with blonde hair and...

LAWYER:

Yes, yes, Miss Thompson. She's very accurate. There's no doubt that the bill is correct.

CLIENT:

But this bill is too much for the services I received from your office. I didn't even have the professional services of a real lawyer.

LAWYER:

That doesn't have anything to do with it. Here the charge is the same, whether I do the work personally, or a secretary takes a care of a routine matter such as yours.

CLIENT:

But... but it's too much!

LAWYER:

Sir, you take care of your business and I'll take care of mine!

CLIENT:

Obviously you don't know who I am!

LAWYER:

And who are you, sir?

CLIENT:

Now I understand this exorbitant bill.

LAWYER:

What do you mean?

CLIENT:

Simply that I belong to the same profession as you do.

LAWYER:

Oh, well! Then there was an oversight. My secretary didn't make a note of that fact. I'm very sorry about the mistake.

CLIENT:

Oh, that's all right. It could happen to anyone.

LAWYER:

So you're a member of my profession, eh? Well, in that case, I'll give you a discount of seventy-five percent.

CLIENT:

That's better! Now that the bill is for a reasonable sum, I'll pay it right away. Here's the money.

LAWYER:

Thank you very much. I hope that you'll forgive this mistake.

CLIENT:

Naturally.

After taking the money, the lawyer sees his client to the door with great respect and courtesy, and says...

LAWYER:

But tell me, friend, where is your office?

CLIENT:

Oh, I don't have an office.

LAWYER:

But you just told me that you had the same profession as I do.

CLIENT:

Yes, I did. I'm a thief, too!

Source: English Teaching Forum

GLOSSARY

client: customer of someone who performs professional services.
exorbitant: excessive; much larger than it should be (exorbitante, exagerado)
right: immediately; straightway
handled:
dealt with; managed; took care of (manejó, se ocupó de)
accurate = exact, precise (exacto, preciso)

doesn't have anything to do with it:
has no bearing on the matter; has no connection with it; is not a factor (no tiene nada que ver con eso)
takes care of:
manages; handles; deals with (se hace cargo de, es responsable de)
take care of your business = deal with your business (ocúpese de sus asuntos)

what do you mean? = what are you suggesting? (¿qué quiere decir? ¿qué insinúa)
belong to: be classified with (pertenecer a)

oversight:
unintentional omission or careless mistake. Note the strong stress on was, indicating a contrast with his previous assertion that there had been no mistake (error involuntario)
eh?:
an interjection added at the end of a statement to ask for confirmation or express inquiry
reasonable: fair, not excessive (razonable)
right away = immediately
(de inmediato)
forgive: absolve (disculpar, perdonar)

courtesy:
good manners (buenos modales)
thief: a criminal who takes property belonging to someone else (ladrón)

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