1.  My aunt lived on THE ground floor of AN old house on THE River Thames. She was very much afraid of — burglars and always locked up THE house very carefully before she went to — bed. She also took THE precaution of looking under THE bed to see if A burglar was hiding there. ' — modern burglars don't hide under — beds,' said her daughter. 'I'll go on looking just THE same,' said my aunt. One morning she rang her daughter in — triumph. 'I found A burglar under THE bed — last night,' she said, 'and he was quite A young man.'

2.  ALBERT: Good morning, Bernard. Would you like to hear A story about AN Englishman, AN Irishman and A Scotsman?
BERNARD: No, thanks. I've heard — stories about — Englishmen, — Irishmen and — Scotsmen before and they are all THE same.
ALBERT: But mine is not A typical story. In my story THE Scotsman is generous, THE Irishman is logical and THE Englishman is romantic.
BERNARD: Oh, if it's A fantastic story I'll listen to it with — pleasure.