WOMAN: That's the last straw. I'm closing my account and giving my business to someone who'll appreciate it. I've been with that bank for nearly thirty years, and I'm fed up with their bad service and ingratitude! I know I don't have a big account, but I've given them a lot of business over the years. MAN: Oh, they're all the same. Mine's no better. You'd think things would have improved, now they're all computerised, but they're not – they're worse! WOMAN: If you ask me, computers are just something they blame when people make a mess of things. MAN: And an excuse to cut staff, banking hours and the number of branches to the bone! WOMAN: You'd think, with their jobs on the line, the staff would be more accommodating, wouldn't you? But they're ruder than ever! They act as if they're doing you a favour! The only time you get a smile out of one of them is when they tell you you're at the wrong window, after you've been queuing for half an hour! MAN: And they're so slow! You'd think we had all day, the time they take over some transactions, chatting away to each other and shuffling their papers ... they don't even look up, half the time! WOMAN: Well, if what you say is true, I may as well stay where I am. Your bank doesn't sound any better. MAN: Well, you could always keep your money under the mattress, or bury it in the garden! WOMAN: Don't tempt me!