MILDRED:

Right, that's Kirsty. Now, who's next on the list? Oh, Phyllis. What shall we get her? Oh, aren't these statuettes nice?

GEORGE:

I'd rather we got her something useful. She's got enough rubbish in that flat already. What about an ashtray? Here, look, these are nice. And cheap – she never spends much on us.

MILDRED:

That's enough about my relatives, George. You know she's not as well-off as us.

GEORGE:

Well, what about this vase? Or one of these bowls?

MILDRED:

Mmm, they're pretty. She could put fruit in that. Yes, I think that'll suit her nicely. Well done, George. Now, what about Simon? How about a tie?

GEORGE:

You know he never wears them. What about one of these knives?

MILDRED:

It's time he learned to dress like the rest of the world, George. I'm getting him a tie, one to match the shirt I gave him for his birthday. And if he doesn't like it, too bad.

GEORGE:

I wish you'd leave the boy alone, Mildred. Let him do what he wants to do. He's got to find his own way.

MILDRED:

One of us has got to make him see sense, George. You'd let him do anything. He'll be dressing up in women's clothes next. Here look, this one's nice.

GEORGE:

It's money down the drain, dear.